Hestu's Heartbeat
by Mark Cornell
Summary: Hestu must dance. Hestu has been very forthcoming about all of this.
1. Heartbeat

None of them are awake. Hestu knows this. Hestu doesn't need reminding that the Koroks enjoy their rest. Hestu is trying Hestu's Bestu to fall asleep. Hestu recalls perfectly that the Koroks have designated the nighttime for rest, and the daytime for the whatever it is that they do.

Hestu doesn't want to think about that whatever. Hestu doesn't enjoy that whatever. That whatever is responsible for the rhythmless rustling in Hes head that makes Hes brows take root. The rustling is loud. It does not have the music.

MUSIC.

Hestu thought the word music, and Hestu is not at all trying to fall asleep anymore. Hestu thought the mantra, and the music was summoned, and Hestu can hear the beat in his head, but he does not FEEL the music right now.

Hes wooden eyebrows tighten even further. Hestu must feel the music. Hestu must feel the music right now.

Branches creak as Hestu rolls over and makes a mad waddle over to Hes Maracas. Normally Hestu would not have placed Hes bag so very far away, but Hestu rolled when trying to fall asleep, leaving Hestu and the Maracas bag separated by a full Hestu length.

Hestu feels the music once those hands take hold of the Maracas. The Maracas don't need to be shaken for Hestu to feel the rhythm. Once the wood of the Maracas touches the wood of Hes hands, the low knocking of tree and its long-lost branch bring to life those whispers of music Hestu heard but did not feel, true to Hestu but not real. Not until Hestu touched the Maracas. They are real now.

Hestu. Must. Dance.

The Korok seeds cascade their foreshadowing jingle as Hestu places his seeds in the Maracas, and raises a branch to the sky before a knot in Hes leg cries out and stops Hestu.

Brows furrow deeper. Hestu knows that knot. That's the reminder knot.

Hestu is now very upset. The reminder knot tells Hestu to think twice about making the Maracas sing while the moon is out.

Hestu must dance, and Hestu would point out that the need to dance does not rise and set with the sun. It is like the Great Tree's branches: always present, always strong.

This is not the first time this conundrum has shown itself. This is not the fortieth time the reminder knot has cried out.

It is the first time recently that the reminder knot has cried out. Hestu has been very good about not feeling the music at night. But the Great Tree informed Hestu know that the other Koroks enjoy their sleep and cannot sleep if Hestu is making music. Hestu, the Great Tree croaked, must satisfy Hesself with hearing the rhythm, and the Great Tree tells Hestu that hearing the rhythm and tapping Hestu's branches against the ground are good enough.

Hestu noted the litany of problems with this.

Clearly, the Great Tree does not not hear or feel the rhythm as much as Hestu does, or the Great Tree would not be saying this.

Clearly, Hestu did not make music, Hestu -feels- the music in the Maracas and sends it out. Hestu is as much affected by the music as are the Koroks. If Hestu were making the music, Hestu would be making wooden Hestu sounds, and Hestu is clearly not.

Clearly, Korok leaves would be better if they slept through the day, as their leaves would take in more sunlight if they faced upward during the day, like Hestu has always done. This would make the Koroks healthier and more energetic if they would just sleep more efficiently. That might make them dance more vigorously.

And Hestu was so perturbed that Hestu could tell the Great Tree none of this. Hestu merely brewed over the thoughts for a full moon cycle - a moon cycle during which Hestu was very obedient, where Hestu did not play the Maracas while the sun was down even once. This reduced the amount of time that Hestu was able to play the Maracas, but every moment the music flowed through Hestu was all the more precious.

The reminder knot lets Hestu know that the Great Tree will be very upset if the sound of Maracas blow through the forest. The Koroks, too, will be very upset - they were the ones who told the Great Tree that they were rustled by the music.

Hestu'ss eyebrows cannot become any more tense, though the would if they could. The strain makes its way through Hes trunk all the way to the ends of Hes branches.

Strained wood always provided better acoustics anyway, Hestu thought. Shakala. La. La. Lala. La.

Hestu must dance, and neither Great Tree nor little Koroks will stop Hestu. Hestu imagines this is what heartbeats feel like as Maracas bring life to the Korok forest, as the red moon gives way to white, as it salsas beyond the horizon.

Hestu must stop for a moment. Hestu is as vigorous as ever, but trees are not meant to move for a full night without cease, a fact Hestu knows full well runs contrary to his love for the music.

The dawn shows the silhouettes of Koroks, all massed near Hestu, all hovering with their special leaves. Hestu relaxes, seeing that this evening of music - under a full moon, no less - cannot have helped but bring the Koroks to understand the joy of the Maracas, the joy of the rhythm. And despite wishing that these Koroks could be greeted to the sound of sunrise Maracas, Hestu is far too tired to play (and the Koroks certainly cannot), forcing Hestu to put the Maracas in the bag and empty the seeds in the seed pouch.

The Koroks approach Hestu as the too large tree looks at his knotted leg and smiles. Even though they are approaching too quickly, they have come to appreciate Hestu's music. Hes eyebrows relax and outstretches Hes arms.

"Hellola, Korok-rok friends!"

Hestu is greeted by Koroks who jerk him skyward, his seed pouch spilling open, their contents washing onto the forest floor.


	2. Flower Dream

No. It was calm and is too much. Now. Now it's too much. Is trying to make all this muchness go away, but cannot move enough to make the muchness go away.

What and why? It was good before, and now it is much. Ow. Why is the much?

Is trying to find where all the muchness is and push it away, but is starting to know that this muchness is not something that can reach all at once, and it is all very what. There is shish much, and there is creak much, which are very, very much.

But can move more now. When it was calm, could not move, but is released from what was holding ends. Is moving one of the released things - is moving end - then another end, and the first end again.

Muchness is still what, but bottom ends have moved all to a different place. This is a new muchness that is good. The creak muchness is becoming better - it does not hurt anymore, and the shish has calmed. What was harsh and much now shows places. Is reaching a top end down. The creak muchness is showing muchness; showing muchness matches where the top end feels. The showing muchness shows cannot reach on the sides but can reach in front. "Can, so will," is thinking.

Is reaching the bottom ends to the can reach, and is pushing forward. Is moving so much! Feels so light inside! Is pushing forward and sees a very big become closer and bigger. It is getting bigger so much until it is the biggest.

And now there is bad muchness everywhere inside after the big stopped the moving with a big book. Top ends are no longer touching the closeness, it is the middle that is touching the closeness, because that is the least bad.

And new thing is becoming bigger from the far. There is a wut-dut-dut much - like the shish much, but wut-dut-dut - that is becoming mucher. Wut-dut-dut much gets bigger, and showing muchness shows wut-dut-dut get bigger. Is rolling so that bottom ends can push to the big.

Is at the big. The wut-dut-dut has bottom ends that land on the close. The wut-dut-dut is what, because its muchness for its top and bottom ends are smaller and further than the top and bottom ends, but its showing muchness for its top and bottom ends is like the top and bottom ends and like the closeness.

Wut-dut-dut makes a much: "A new sibling!"

Is not moving, and cannot move because of how many different muches the scary bad wut-dut-dut is making.

The wut-dut-dut is not making the wut-dut-dut much any more.

New much from the not-wut-dut-dut Wut-dut-dut; "I'm so excited! Oh, wait, hang on, what did the Great Tree - oh! - I know you're scared, cuz it's a long way down, but you didn't fall!"

So many muches from this one Wut-dut-dut. Is it still Wut-dut-dut if its muches aren't wut-dut-dut?

"Hi! Uh, the Great Tree wants me to tell you your name! It's Hestu! Welcome, Hestu!"

Showing much shows change in place but not change in size for the Wut-dut-dut, and it is making Hestu muches... Hestu muches from the Wut-dut-dut…

!

"Hestu!" Is making Hestu much! Can make shish and wut-dut-dut and Hestu muches!

"Yes, that's you! Hestu!"

Feels light! Wut-dut-dut is Hestu!

"Hestu! Wut-dut-dut! Hestu! Hestu!" Moves bottom ends and middle to Hestu and puts top ends behind Hestu. "Hestu! Wut-dut-dut! Hestu!"

Hestu isn't changing place, and then:

"Oh. I see, Hestu! Here."

Hestu moves away, and Hestu places a top end on middle.

"Hestu."

Hestu places a top end on Hestu.

"Chio."

Is confused. Hestu is Chio? Hestu-Chio-Wut-dut-dut puts Hestuchiowutdutdut's top end on top end.

"Hestu?"

Is making much: "Hestu?"

Wut-dut-dut-Hestu-Chio moves Wut-dut-dut-Hestu-Chio's top end onto middle.

"Hestu."

"Hestu."

Wut-dut-dut-Hestu-Chio moves top end onto Wut-dut-dut-Hestu-Chio's top end.

"Chio."

…

"Chio."

Chio? Is Wut-dut-dut-Hestu-Chio Chio?

Is feeling the biggest much inside. Is feeling so big a much. Is moving top end to Chio's middle.

"CHIO!"

Chio makes a much: "Yes! That's right! Chio!"

Places a top end on middle, with the biggest much of all inside: "HESTU!"

Chio makes a bigger much: "Yes! That's right! You're Hestu!"

"HESTU!"

Hestu! Hestu's top end! Hestu's middle! Hestu's much! Hestu! Hestu has felt shish much, and Hestu has felt creak much, which is showing much, and Hestu had felt big book much in top ends and middle and bottom ends, and Hestu knows that wut-dut-dut much is not Chio, and - Hestu!

Hestu does not want it to be the calm anymore. Hestu is Hestu.

Hestu rustles. That dream, or some variant, was not uncommon for Hestu. Hestu has thought very much about those first moments when Hestu sprouted from The Great Tree's bud - and Hestu would certainly share each thought Hestu had about it, as Hestu finds it very interesting!

If Hestu were less lethargic or if anyone were nearby to listen, Hestu's long winds would have whipped a desert as Hestu shared Hestu's thoughts.

Not the case. Hestu's brow hides Hes eyes, and the reminder knot reminds Hestu: not everyone is going to be as interested in Hestu's thoughts as Hestu is.

…

Hestu has another thought! Hestu doesn't enjoy explaining Hesself to the Koroks, but Hestu does it anyway. Why does Hestu do that? Why does Hestu subject Hesself to people that will not feel the thought inside the way Hestu feels it? Hestu has been asking Hesself this question almost as long as Hestu has been alive.

The answer! Hestu has an answer!

Hestu doesn't enjoy helping them understand! Hestu enjoys saying it!

If Hestu were less tired, Hestu might be flying through the canopy in excitement. Hestu gives a slight kick instead, one indiscernible from a twitch. 'It will do,' Hestu resolves.

Hestu has one big thought on how Hestu was born, with other smaller thoughts besides that must not be forgotten, but one major one! It was scary because nothing had names. Sound did not have a name and was only too much. The shishing of the trees, the wut-dut-dut of the Korok leaf - those sounds were the only names Hestu had. But they were at least names, sounds Hestu could make and imitate.

Light? Hestu was scared of seeing things because Hestu thought it was impossible to name them! What do you call things that don't make sound?

Their names, Hestu learned later. Names were a way around what Hestu worried was an impossible problem. Hestu hurried to learn as many names as possible to not be afraid of them. Names are settled things, Hestu thinks.

And Hestu is Hestu. That was the first name Hestu knew, and the memory is one of Hestu's most comforting, like Hes Maracas or Hes music or -

Hestu's bark stands on end. Hestu remembers - Hestu lost Hes Maracas! Hestu has no idea where they are!

Hestu does not have a name for this kind of calamity.

 _A/N: Lord, the first half of this is difficult. For you. For me. For all of us. Agonies - those are what I've visited upon those with the terrible misfortune to read this._

 _Given that I really am a novice at fiction-writing, it might've been a mistake to go for something like that, something so limiting. I could definitely hear arguments saying it's too impenetrable, if the argument is that the scene just can't be recreated from the words. That might certainly be a concern. A_ _t the same time, I'd find equally persuasive those critiques that say it's too accessible; namely, why does Young Hestu's internal monologue get to be represented in words that Young Hestu did not know? Does that unfaithfully represent the mind of desperate Young Hestu? Dunno the answer to that. You could say suspension of disbelief takes care of it, but if you can alter the form of the language to reflect some aspect of the setting - even if extreme - it's my opinion that I need to do it._

 _Of course, the obvious answer is "suck less." Correct and fair!_


	3. Let Hestu Show You Why

Hestu knows that the Koroks took Hes things and left the forest. Hestu will spell it out for you right now.

Hestu

(i) lost Hes Maracas in the woods

(ii) was playing the maracas in the moonlight

(iii) the Koroks do not like that, AS HESTU ALREADY KNOWS

(iiii) has already mentioned in no uncertain terms that the music came to Hestu, Hestu did not look for the music

(iiiii) because Hestu feels the music as Hes fellow Koroks feel photosynthesis

(iiiiii) Hestu would never dare suggest Hes fellow Koroks should not process the sun and water into energy

(iiiiiii) Again back to the matter at hand, Hestu knows Hestu shouldn't have done it but did, and Hestu ended up dropping the Maracas on the forest floor

(iiiiiiii) Hestu has mapped out all the forest and knows each of the trees

(iiiiiiiii) would you like to see Hestu draw out all the trees?

(iiiiiiiiii) Hestu can do that, you know.

(iiiiiiiiiii) Hestu has looked around every single tree in the forest and did not see Hes Maracas around any of them

(iiiiiiiiiiii) Hestu knows no critter would have taken it to their den

(iiiiiiiiiiiii) because none of the critters that use wood for their nests are strong enough to carry Hestu's Maracas

(iiiiiiiiiiiiii) and none of the critters in the woods would EAT wood

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiii) which is very good for Hestu and Hes friends, as they are all made of wood!

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) nibble nibble

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) The wind only ever blows toward the Great Tree

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) so even if the wind took it away, it took it toward the Great Tree

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) and the Great Tree did not see Hes Maracas

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) So Hestu's Maracas are not in the forest anymore

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) And no critters took them

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) And no monsters can enter the forest

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) So no monsters took them

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) And no outsiders can enter the forest without the Great Tree's permission

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) And the Great Tree did not allow any outsiders in

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) So no outsiders took them

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) And The Great Tree did not take them

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) And Hestu does not have them

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) And Hestu made the Koroks mad

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) And Koroks know Hestu loves Hes Maracas

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) And Hestu knows the Koroks do hurtful things when they are mad

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) So the Koroks took Hestu's Maracas

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) and left the forest

(iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii) because Hestu is afraid to leave

So Hestu hopes Hestu's conclusion is very clear now.

Hestu must leave the forest Hestu has grown up in and loves dearly to find Hestu's Maracas and their seeds.

Hestu will miss the forest very much.

And Hestu is leaving the forest now because Hestu needs the music.

A/N: This wasn't really a chapter. But it was therapeutic to write, in a way I don't think I totally understand.

Also, oof, brothers and sisters, I feel like I need to explain Chapter 2 just a little bit more. I thought to myself, 'hey, let's try something interesting and experimental.'

It worked, in one regard: it was VERY unique.

It didn't work, in another regard: it was terribly baffling and unreadable.

So here's the summary of what that chapter was supposed to be: Hestu is born and learns their name. The chapter was written frm the following restriction: explain all the sensations that Hestu was feeling in his first several minutes using only the mental and sensory perceptions that Hestu understood at the time. Does Hestu know what 'colors' are? Can Hestu explain what 'brightness' is? Can Hestu explain what it means to physically feel things? You have a very limited range of ways to describe things, and I was trying to live in that restriction to see if I could make something unique.

I did. And it was terrible! But that's okay! Because I had fun failing.


End file.
